I don't.... I don't know what to do

I told her... Her reaction was not as I expected to be. Our friendship seems threatened, now she barely talks to me in spite of I told her that despite my feelings nothing had to change between us. My need of the city is growing and I don't know why as I spent the last year hating it. Honey eyes is starting to talk more normally to me, something has change in her (let's see that when I return to the city). As I was saying, my friendship with the first I mentioned is now almost dead. I'll just keep living till something gets better, I really hope that this year gets better. It looks as life couldn't forgive me for my mistakes, I am the Unforgiven.

SYS JASG

LANDSLIDE!!

THAT'S IT. I'M SICK OF THIS FUCKING SHIT. JUST WHEN EVERYTHING SEEMED TO BE, NOT PERFECT BUT AT LEAST GOOD, ALL WENT DOWN IN THAT SINGLE MOMENT LIKE A LANDSLIDE. MY HEART IS BURNING WITH SICKNESS, ANGER (REALLY I'M IN A FRENZY), AND JEALOUSY. WHAT IS KILLING ME MORE IS THAT I WAS PLANNING TO TELL A FEW PEOPLE TODAY AS I'M WRITING THIS STUPID NOTE, BUT WHEN I SAW THAT, IT WAS LIKE IF A MOUNTAIN WAS BEING PUT ON MY BACK. I NEED, EVEN, TO PUKE FROM THE REVULSION THAT IS FLOWING IN MY VEINS. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. NOW I DON'T CARE WHAT I DO BECAUSE EVERYTHING ENDS BAD FOR ME. I THINK I'D RATHER DIE THAN LIVE IN THIS SHITTY WORLD JUST A SINGLE FUCKING DAY.